In the Wake of an Attack...

Disclaimer:

My description of my thoughts are simply that and in no way a judgement of other's decisions - I respect everyone's right to their own approach. 

I asked permission to use the statuses below, if anyone would like their status remove, please let me know and I will do so. 

In December 2009 I boarded a plane to Israel as a madricha with 25 Birthright participants for my 4th flight to Israel. This was during the time of Operation Cast Lead and many participants had cancelled their plans to come to Israel out of fear. I knew enough about being in Israel that I understand my safety was not at risk, but I wondered why my mother was not pleading with me not to go. She eventually informed me that by this time she trusted me to make my own decisions and would not question my decision. I do not regret a moment of the trip that followed, it was one of the most meaningful trips I've had to this country and the reality is that, while I was here, the only time I heard anything of the situation in Gaza was by way of the occasional news update, not the site/sounds of rockets in the distance. 

Yesterday, while on a bus with my class heading back to Jerusalem from Tel Moresha, we were informed of a 3 part terrorist attack that had just happened in Eilat - killing 7 people and leaving many wounded. Phones were immediately pulled out and phone calls made, I simply sent my parents text messages saying I was no where near Eilat. I did not think this was a necessary action, as my parents are very aware that Eilat is 5 hours south of Jerusalem, but I felt it better to reassure them as to not accidentally leave them in a panicked state. 

The next question on my mind was how to inform my friends over social media?

I have been to Israel 6 times, and during this time rockets have been fired into the country from the borders, but no incidents identified as terrorist attacks have taken place. I have never felt the need to reassure my network of my safety before. So I opened my facebook and contemplated what to write. I did not want to say "I'm safe" - that felt silly to me - Why wouldn't I be safe? I didn't want to say "there's been a terrorist attack" - my network is very on top of their Israel news, but also why alarm the people who don't know something has happened? Would that be alarming? I opted for a simple "I am far from Eilat" and a sharing of my sympathies for the loss in Eilat in "my thoughts and prayers" are there. I later looked at my newsfeed and was fascinated to see the variety of posts my classmates had made and to ponder how we and our networks relate to this news differently. Here are the screenshots of my newsfeed:

(I do not have great editing software on my laptop but I wanted to edit out pictures, last names, and comments so I apologize for all the wasted space in these images, I couldn't cut and paste.)

    

I realized that whereas I did not want to acknowledge my safety, my peers had no hesitation in doing so...perhaps my reason is not that it felt silly but that simply I couldn't bring myself to write the words. Needing to write on my facebook status that I was safe would mean admitting that I might not be and raises the questions "am I really? how do I know?" 

There are some topics that I personally struggle with writing about on facebook - most recent example would be how I was very vague in how I shared my Grandma's passing as opposed to simply saying so - there's something that feels tacky or like I'm lightening the issue when I write it on my facebook. As I believe that social networking devices are great tools and fully support using them, I don't know why I feel this way. 

More interesting than how I and my peers shared the news of these events, was to be in Jerusalem and see how life goes on. In North America, our worlds are shaken when a terrorist attack happens. Work might stop for the day, people might go home, even an attempt causes a lot of chatter. As we drove back in to Jerusalem it was like nothing happened. People were going on with their daily lives. After class, Rachel and I went for fro-yo on Yaffa Street and sat outside while empty light rail cars drove past (they're supposed to be empty, the light rail only officially opened today). As we discussed the days events and our feelings about the upcoming events at the UN in September and the political situation in the area in general, I was very aware of how normal everything around me was. I have heard that this is the way the world works here and that really we have no choice but to keep going, there's no productivity in simply shutting down every time something happens. It was soothing to know that I could keep living life normally and that there was no indication that I should change that. 

This is the second event of this nature since March and that is a lot for recent years. This is not insignificant and, as much as I am determined to continue living here and I mean living not just existing, it has definitely made me a little more aware that the situation may not be as calm here as I had hoped it would continue to be this year. I still feel safe as ever before. Just now, I feel a need to grapple with what it means to be living here a bit more. I invite your thoughts on these events and any of the topics I've mentioned in this post. I find talking to be therapeutic, I don't deal well with keeping things inside. I would like to make it known that I am willing and ready to talk about yesterday and the coming months, in circles if necessary, with anyone who wants to, for their own sake or mine. 

Oseh Shalom B'imromav, Who Ya'asseh Shalom Aleinu Ve Al Kol Yisrael V'Imru, Amen.

עושה שלום במרומיו הוא יעשה שלום עלינו ועל כל ישראל ואמרו אמן

May He who makes peace in the Heavens above, grant peace to us and all of Israel, and let us say Amen.